2003-04-02 - 1:44 a.m.

Today was my day off. I was supposed to go out and about, but apparently I don't rate above shit on the likeable meters. Whatever.

So I watched the Matrix and Buffy and just kind of meandered all day and night long. Now I've been cleaning up the kitchen and am working on the living room. It is a small feat, but I'm sure I'll be tired nonetheless. I can't wait to get to bed. I've been standing around watching my cats play with a cricket that decided to pop in the bathroom while I was getting out of the shower. Damned summer. So that was really not fun.

As far as my guestbook entries go... First of all, I had a relationship. Here's the kicker. *had*. No, I don't want to compare notes. Because it wasn't just a breeze in, breeze out sort of thing. Not a been there-done that sort of thing. More like a really long relationship that could have gone alot better. But it could have been worse, too. I've worked on getting over it so far by myself, I'm sure I can manage from here. Manage. Right. Whatever. So what am I to do? Just sit here and continue slowly dying? Cuz that's been working so well for me. Right now, I'm focusing on going to college. Maybe I'll make something of myself. Or maybe I'll die trying. Either way, it's better than being stuck here for the rest of my life, or going to KCC for 8 years pretending like I'm going to be someone important, when, in reality, I'll just drop a few kids in the trailor park and make myself at home for the next 50.

Somewhere, I had a point. Oh, and still not resentful. In a big position of not really taking much of a stand. Because like I said, I have to focus on college. And my soon to be in debt self. Hopefully it'll only be about 10000 a year. For the next 7 years. With interest. Isn't life grand? Damn. I still sound bitter and resentful. Oh well. I guess you'll just have to trust me.

Thinking - "I'm merely acting as a general reminder: here today, gone tomorrow."

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