2003-05-03 - 12:04 a.m.

Today was okay. We went out and got my anti-septic solution and some tv dinners. Then we came home and chilled for a bit more. Then we all went out to eat for dinner and came back home. I watched Charmed (I had taped it), and then I went out.

I went to Monical’s because I had to ask Carie if Express Boy was gay. She didn’t know. Because, you see, I’m not going to even try if he’s already gay. But he’s not, yet. So I went and got pop from Scotchmon’s. Then I went back inside and talked to him. He’s interested. Definitely.

It’s kind of scary. I mean, I’ve never “dated” anyone. I’ve been in relationships, of course. But not so much of the going out and doing stuff. I’m more of a stay-in kind of gal. And what if I don’t feel ready enough to date? I’m going to look stupid for all of this. It’s been a while since I’ve had boy attention, I know. But my last relationship has been really hard to put behind me, and I know I’m not completely over it. I honestly don’t know if I’ll ever be. The last time I tried to date someone, it was way too soon.

But I’m at least going to give it a shot. And when it doesn’t work out, everyone can say I told you so, and we’ll be done with it. Oh well. Maybe the time I spend with this will make me a little happy, and you can’t blame me for trying to be happy, can you?

Tomorrow, I’m having my party, then I’m thinking about getting inked, and then maybe a movie and some looking around at stuff. Sometime in there, I have to go talk to Rob.

I have a headache. I’ve managed to depress myself again.

Thinking - “I'd rather die tomorrow than live a hundred years without knowing you.”

previous - next