2004-05-25 - 9:12 p.m.

So, I'm back at home. Gainfully unemployed. Yeah, Viskase doesn't want me back as of yet. I'm all over it, checking in with the mom everyday to see if anyone quits, and knowing that place and that shift, people are dropping like flies. So stay tuned for future job updates.

Speaking of jobs, I received my financial aid "award" about a week or so ago. As you are all probably aware, I'm very poor. We made less money than we did last year. And I haven't had a job since August of last year. So I'm very poor. And they gave me less financial aid, including a lack of federal work study. WHAT THE HELL?? is what I said, so I called the lazy bastards at school the next day, and I checked back in today, and the work study is officially added to my award letter. I still have to take about about 8,000 dollars, but what's another 8,000 of my own loans added to the federal fuck you up the ass loans that they "award" me? Also do not know if I'm going to be working for Doc, because it was pretty much decided until Kelly tells me that she's probably going to work for him in a graduate student capacity. Mmhmm. So again, with the unemployed.

I was in a car accident a week ago. Nothing too major, but I did get a little bruised up. Enough to mention to the exnonboyfriend, who finally talked to me after I mentioned said incident. Still no explanation for why he's not talking to me. Very strange.

Am in lots of pain, not from the accident, just from being me, you know how that is. And the mom is all over my fucking case. Talk about having a serious lack of will to live after being here a few days. On my case about not having a job, being a lazy bastard, when she could have avoided this whole mess by a 75 cent condom or an abortion. You don't like me, take it up with yourself, lady. But since you can't change the past, you'd better treat me like a human now, cuz I'm sick and tired of being here already, and I'm going to remember all of this shit next semester when I'm being told to come home, and I stay at school because I know how it is here.

Thinking - "I'm not a magician, give me time."

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